Re: The Anonymous Admirer
There has been something of a breakdown in band protocol in the response to our lovelorn friend. Whilst DB did a fine job in his response, there is a very clear understanding that myself and Barny are the resident Love Doctors of the LV support group. With that said, I advise you all to ignore DB’s response and take this as the official party line:
Dear Anonymous,
You have to ask yourself ‘what is my long term goal with this girl? What am I hoping will come out of my message to her?’ If you’re just looking for a bit of fun, then I advise you to take up paintballing or go for a long walk. These casual things almost always end badly.
If you’re looking for something a bit more serious, maybe even ‘Love’, then I advise you to go away and listen to your entire music collection. Notice a theme? Yep. Love sucks. Avoid.
Alternatively, if you are just looking for some inspiration for writing your own pop ballad then there are plenty of places you can go to first before resorting to actual relations. I reccomend you visit your local library - with over 1000 years of English Literature to choose from, you can find any number of examples of heartbreak without actually having to experience it yourself
I hope this has been helpful.
Remember - Say NO to Love. Say YES to Pop.
——
BT
x
